12:29 a.m. - 2003-07-01
no speak the english
My frustration knows no bounds, and apperently no english words.
It used to be good enough to lapse into pirate: "YYYAAARRRR matey, I'll be runnin' ya through! You'll be walkin' the plank! I'll keel haul ya, YA-HAR!!!" Then I started swearing in german, and if german isnt already the official language for swearing in, then it very well should be. Also for singing in while drunk.
Lately I've been reduced beyong real human words, to primal, gutteral, and somewhat retarded sounding utterances like: "ARG!" "ACK!" "GAH!" and others that simply defy transcription, but whos meanings cannot be mistaken when heard.
Language is so limited. Theres things it cant even touch, like the realms of intense pleasure or pain where we speak only in vowels, exchange no facts, but comminucate everything. I digresse slightly.
So, you may have been wondering: "Catspajamas, whats got you so riled up?" And I will tell you.
Well, theres the boy-thing. Mostly I'm over it, just regretfull. Sitting next to my copmputer, making me look like a liar, are two rubber lizards serving as voodoo dolls. One for stabbin' and one for molestin'. Sure its not really his fault, but theyre not really voodoo dolls either.
More importantly is the lack-of-money thing caused by the lack-of-job thing. I'de love to type up a resume, I really really would. But I havent had to look for new work in oh, three years or so, and I cant remeber my old beginning and ending dates and my ex-employers arent being at all helpful. At. All. I think at least one of them actually lost all my info and thats why theyre not calling me back.
I checked online to see when the next payment is due on the store credit card for my very favoritest clothing store in the world, and theyve just increased my limit by $200. First I wanted to dance with glee and lick my computer screen. Then I thought about how evil it really is. Im broke and theyre offering to dig my grave $200 deeper. Right when I'm uber depressed the siren song of consumer therapy comes drifting in over my computer. Seducing me with hypothetical silk dresses, thigh-high stockings and lace garter belts, leather belts and matching handbags, and oooooooh, its on SALE! And doesnt that justify just everything? But NO! NOOO!!! I will resist! I will be strong!
I will meditate, medicate, and masturbate as necissary....
And in the end, as always, I'll be fine.
