7:08 p.m. - 2004-12-23
Normally today would find me posting a half-joking list of things I want for xmas, but this year I've already recived two of the best presents a body could ever want. My very kind, generous, and SNEAKY friend Geoff tricked me into showing him my amazon.com wishlist by promising not to buy me anything and then Aqua Teen Hunger Force vol.1 and "Watchmen" by Alan Moore magically appeared in my mailbox not long after. ATHF rocks and "Watchmen" is probably the best thing I have ever read. In any medium. Ever. It made me cry twice. TWICE.
Not long after that came a big white box with carebear stickers all over it, and even without the return adress I would have recognized this as clearly being heidiann's handiwork. Inside was an adorable Hello Kitty purse filled with mini-Toblerones! I dont know who came up with the idea of putting honey in chocolate but I would seriously consider having their babies if asked. Thank you Heidi! I got this package in the middle of a seriously shitty day and you'll never know how happy it made me.
And that, I think, is the end of whatever "holiday spirit" I may possess. Next person who tries to wish me a merry christmas is gonna get decked right in the halls. Dont get me wrong, Im glad youre all overflowing with yuletide cheer, I really am. I just dont want to get any on me.
Everytime I hear/read about how much someone looooooves "The Holidays" all I think is "You clearly dont work retail." And I'm preying for january when you finally calm the fuck down.
And please, gentle, christian ladies, please: When I've finished helping you and say "thank you" or "have a nice day" or what have you, please stop saying "Merry Christmas..." in that tone that suggests I'm remiss or even rude for not saying it first. How do you know I'm not Jewish? Or Muslim or buddhist or Wiccan? I could be a disciple of Cthulhu for all you know, and then wouldnt you feel a fool?
May your days be merry and bright