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3:37 a.m. - 2005-03-16
4, 3, 2, 1, Contact!

4 Paintings:
The other day I decided to put up three of the paintings/posters I did back in the day for SEEKR in my living room over my couch. Theyre all done in the same style, which is starting to become a bit of a trademark, and I think they look quite nice togeher.

Really brightens up the place. The white on black one in the center is of my friend Audra, who is also the reason I was in SEEKR in the first place, the reason I did those three posters, and the reason Im doing this enormous banner/painting here:

The Damned thing is 3'x7' and due to size, complexity, and the amount of time that has passed since I last undertook a project of this type, its taking bloody forever. As you can see I'm nowhere near done, I've got most of the colors blocked in but none of the detail. When Im done every aspect of it will look sexually suggestive. Why I torture myself like this I will never know. Its a fucking blacklight reactive banner to be used primarily at raves but I feel the need to work in social commentary and biblical references and so many details youde have to be on acid to want to spend enough time staring at it to actually notice them all. On the brightside it feels great to be painting again and its making a wonderful distraction from recent romantic disappointments. I've been focusing on photography and writting so long that alot of my friends didnt even know that I could draw and paint. Some of them dont even know about the writting and the photography. I'm not so big on self promotion, unfortunately.

3 Changes:
*I have a new car! My dad bought me a replacement for Babe. Her name is "Molly" because she is a Ford Escort and I like Frank Miller.
*After almost exactly seven years I have finally decided to take my tongue stud out. I got it on my 18th birthday and in 9 days I will be 25 years old. My mouth feels very strange without it, but it was starting to irritate the gums behind my bottom front teeth and the last two times I went down on my Hot Sexy Man I left it out and asked him which way he liked it better and he said that he didnt notice the difference. DIDNT. EVEN. NOTICE. 7 years I've had that thing in my mouth and it doesnt make a noticable difference??? Fuck that.
*From here on out and until further notice I officially declare that I do not have to restrict my celebrations and indulgences to one birthday or even birthweek. The entire month of March now belongs to me. For the 3rd month of every year I can do whatever the fuck I want. I've had cake almost every day this month and I intend to continue doing so. Again, March = Mine. Let it be known throughout the land.

2 Dozen Roses:
The very sneaky heidiann actually sent me 2 dozen roses just because I needed cheering up. This evidence strongly cooberates my theory. You know that feeling of inadequacy and self-dubt we all feel sometimes? That feeling that if other people knew how uncool we really are then no ne would like us, or worse yet, that everyone really does dislike you and are just putting up with you out of pity? My theory is that that feeling comes from secretly knowing or suspecting The Truth. The Truth that not one of us living is as cool as Heidi. Shes the best. Just accept it.

1 Answer:
In response to the comments and the IMs and the emails and of course my promise to tell you in the first place, NO, sadly I still have not been fired. I'll explain the whole thing later but right now its 3:30AM and I am generally lazy and specifically tired.

Feeling used & Not amused -CatsPjs


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